Why we're doing Hallowe'en differently this year
When the witches and vampires come knocking on your door this Hallowe’en, do the Christian thing and welcome them in, says mother-of-three, Mandy Bayton.
For many of my Christian friends and for some of my friends of other faiths and no-faith, Hallowe’en can be a real challenge. Our kids want to dress up, what kid doesn’t love dressing up? Our kids want to be given lots of sweets, what kid doesn’t love lots of sweets? But there’s something underlying the whole thing that, for me, feels a little dark and uncomfortable.
The growth in popularity of celebrating Hallowe’en hit me when my children were in primary school. It was an October afternoon and we were walking home from school with some other parents. One of the parents turned to me and said, “I can’t believe there is so much Christmas stuff in the shops already, it takes all the fun out of Hallowe’en!” I’m not sure when Hallowe’en became so popular in the UK. I’ve always been aware that it was quite big in the US but the only memory I had of Hallowe’en, was apple bobbing.
As a parent of three daughters I have had to navigate my way through the Hallowe’en conundrum. By no means did I find a perfect solution, I just had to find something that worked for my family. When I became a single parent, it was even more of a challenge. Many a Hallowe’en night was spent at the local pizza restaurant, staying out for as long as we could until we felt it would be safe to go home because hopefully we would have avoided the door knockers. Then there were those years when money was tight and we couldn’t afford to go out. Those Hallowe’en nights were spent hiding in the house with the lights off so that trick o’ treaters didn’t know we were home! A single mum with three young daughters, home alone, having random people dressed in scary masks knocking on our door was actually quite terrifying. We often woke up the following morning to find our front door had been egged, it mystifies me to this day how they knew we were home.
Being someone that doesn’t like to moan and then not do anything about it, I decided to do something. If I didn’t like Hallowe’en then I needed to provide an alternative, so I did. I organised light parties and community movie and popcorn nights at our Church, which, in all honesty, had mixed results. I began to realise that hiding away at home or at Church was not the right solution for me.
Those witches, skeletons, vampires and zombies make up our community and because we love them we don’t want to shun them
I recognised as a parent, not letting my children get involved in Hallowe’en or not letting them read or watch certain books or movies, made them more appealing to them. It also made them feel that they were different (not in a good way) to their friends. I grew to realise that talking about what they were watching or reading and allowing them to take part, could actually lead to helpful and constructive conversations about good and evil, light and darkness. They have grown up believing in Jesus and being able to make wise choices for themselves.
The world and Christianity are always going to clash and there are things that are going to make us Jesus followers very uncomfortable and even despair of. What I have learnt is that I don’t need to embrace what I don’t like or feel uncomfortable with. But what I can do is change how I deal with it. I don’t need to do anything that compromises who I am or what I stand for, but I can do what Jesus did so well and turn things on their head. Maya Angelou said "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
So, my husband and I have changed our attitude. We have made the conscious decision not to be the disapproving Christian couple who don’t answer the door (I now have a 6’4” ex-military chap living with me so I’m not scared!) or be the miserable ones that don’t give out sweets. Instead, we are the Christian couple who will give out copious amounts of confectionary (provided my husband hasn’t eaten it all first, and he thought I didn’t notice!). We will be the couple who smile and chat with those who come knocking on our door. Why? Because we love those kids and families. Those witches, skeletons, vampires and zombies make up our community and because we love them we don’t want to shun, belittle or make them feel uncomfortable. We want to do quite the opposite, we want to love, include and accept them where they are, because that’s what Jesus did for us.
Zach Christensen said Jesus’ job “is to reclaim that which is good, restore what has been distorted, and redeem what has been squandered." My job is to open the door and give Him the chance to do just that.
Mandy Bayton is the Evangelism and Outreach Enablement Officer for the Diocese of Swansea and Brecon.