Part Three:

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Prayers for a Child - Prayers after a Miscarriage

A time of prayer and reflection for those who are unable to attend a funeral

Useful Church in Wales link:

Memorial Service after the time of pandemic

The Liturgy included on pages 188 – 193 has been approved by the Bench of Bishops (June 2015) and produced by the Standing Liturgical Advisory Commission for use in services within the Church in Wales.

Gathering

In the name of the Father
and of the Son
and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Greeting

May the God of all consolation and hope be with you.
And also with you.

Introduction

Our lives, once filled with so much hope and joy, have now been touched by sadness at the death of this little child. And yet, with breaking hearts, we can find comfort in the Lord who has known this child (even whilst he/she was growing in his/her mother’s womb) for God is the Lord of life. In Jesus, who took flesh in the womb (or: who was born) of Mary, he leads us home to heaven. And so we can, with faith and hope, commend this little one into the loving care of God his/her heavenly Father.

Reading

One or more of the following or other appropriate readings may be used:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.’ And the one who was seated on the throne said, ‘See, I am making all things new.’

I lift up my eyes to the hills - from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.
He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and for evermore.

Prayers of Intercession

O God, you know us through and through.
Strengthen N. and N. and give them new hope.
Your hand will guide me:
your right hand holds me fast.

You know our rising and our going to rest.
Give this family the assurance of eternal life.
Your hand will guide me:
your right hand holds me fast.

You have known this child,
even before he/she came into being.
Receive him/her into your loving care.
Your hand will guide me:
your right hand holds me fast.

[You keep close behind and before.

We pray for N., who had looked forward with such joy and excitement to the birth of a new baby brother/sister.
May he/she know the closeness of your love.
Your hand will guide me:
your right hand holds me fast.]

Your knowledge is beyond our grasp.
Help us to perceive your will
and to stand in awe of your presence.

Let us pray to God our loving and compassionate Father:

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen.

or

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name;
your kingdom come,
your will done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those
who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from evil.

For the kingdom,
the power and the glory are yours,
now and for ever. Amen.

Prayer after a Miscarriage

Lord God,
full of gentleness and compassion,
we commit to your love this little one.
Brought to life for so short a time,
embrace him/her in your eternal love.
May his/her parents,
deeply saddened by the loss of their child,
have courage and hope.
Bring them through their pain and grief
to days filled with happiness and joy.
May they all meet one day
in the joy and peace of your kingdom.
We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

or

Loving Father,
you are our refuge and strength,
our hope and constant care.
Comfort these parents with the knowledge
that the child for whom they grieve
is now entrusted to your loving embrace.
Wipe every tear from their eyes
and mend their broken hearts that,
yearning for life,
they may find fulfilment in Jesus your Son
whose rising from the dead restores our lives to you,
and leads us to the life of heaven.
Through the same Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

or

Lord God,
the heaviness of grief is laid upon these parents.
You know their pain and sadness which they feel at the loss of the child.
Console them with the knowledge that he/she lives in your loving care.
We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Blessing

The Lord bless you and keep watch over you;
the Lord’s face shine on you and be gracious to you;
the Lord look lovingly on you and give you peace;
and the blessing of God almighty,
the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
be among you and remain with you always. Amen.

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This Liturgy has been approved by the Bench of Bishops (May 2020).

When someone we know and love dies, it is important to say ‘farewell’, to remember them and to honour a life that has meant a lot to us. The current circumstances mean that some people who would have wished to attend the funeral may be prevented from doing so. This short guide will help you to say your formal goodbyes at home.

As you read through this short act of worship and remembrance, mention the name of the person who has died where you see

N. You may like to light a candle, to place it near a photograph of the person you are thinking of and perhaps play a piece of music that meant a lot to them. Take a few moments to sit quietly. Think about those who are attending the funeral and hold them before God in the stillness of the moment.

Lighting the candle

You may say these words as you light a candle:

Jesus is the Light of the World. May his light, rising in glory, banish all darkness from our hearts and minds.

Some words of comfort from the Bible

The eternal God is your refuge: and underneath are the everlasting arms.

Jesus said,
‘Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid’.

Opening Prayer

Loving Jesus, you promised your disciples that you would be with them for ever. Help us to know that you are with us now in our sadness and our grief. When you faced the cross you told your disciples not to be anxious or afraid, because you were going before them. Trusting that N. is safe in your love, help us to have faith and peace of mind. Be with us in these moments of reflection and surround us with your love and your peace, now and always. Amen.

Read either Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.
He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I fear no evil; for you are with me;
your rod and your staff - they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long.

or Psalm 139. 1-11, 13

O Lord, you have searched me out and known me:
you know my sitting down and my rising up,
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You mark out my journeys and my resting place:
and are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue:
but you, O Lord, know it altogether.
You encompass me behind and before:
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me:
so high that I cannot attain it.
Where can I go then from your spirit:
or where can I flee from your presence?
If I climb up to heaven, you are there:
if I make the grave my bed, you are there also.
If I take the wings of the morning:
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there your hand shall lead me:
your right hand hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will cover me:
and the light around me turn to night",
Even darkness is no darkness with you,
the night is as clear as the day:
darkness and light to you are both alike.
I thank you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are your works, my soul knows well.

You might also like to read one of the following Bible passages:

When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Martha said to Jesus,
‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Your brother will rise again.’ Martha said to him, ‘I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.’ Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?’ She said to him, ‘Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world.’

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family. And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, ‘For your sake we are being killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Time to reflect

Now spend a few moments thinking about the readings and any words that particularly speak to you. Take a few moments to think about the person who has died. If you are with other people you may like to share your memories together. Think about what made that person special to you, the things you did with and for them – things they did for you. Think about what you might like to say to them if they were here now. There will be things that you will want to thank God for and things you might regret or feel sorry about. There is also the sadness of not being able to attend the funeral. You can offer all these thoughts to God. After some moments of stillness continue with these prayers:

God our Father,
we thank you that you have made each of us in your own image and given us gifts and talents with which to serve you.
We thank you for N., the years we shared with him/her,
the good we saw in him/her,
the love we received from him/her.
Now give us strength and courage to leave him/her in your care,
confident in your promise of eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

In this prayer at “A. and B.” mention the names of those you know who may be attending the funeral.

O God,
you brought us to birth, and in your arms we die.
In your gentle compassion,
look with tenderness on
A. and B. as they gather today to mourn N.,
to give thanks for his/her life and entrust him/her to you.
In our shared grief and shock contain and comfort us;
embrace us with your love,
give us hope in our confusion
and grace to let go into new life;
through Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Lord’s Prayer

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen.

The following prayer is used at the end of the funeral service to commend the person who has died to God’s love and care for ever. We conclude this short time of reflection with this special prayer:

God our creator and redeemer,
by your power Christ conquered death and entered into glory.
Confident of his victory and claiming his promises,
we entrust N. to your mercy in the name of Jesus our Lord,
who died and is alive and reigns with you,
now and for ever. Amen.

Closing prayers

Support us, O Lord,
all the day long of this troublous life,
until the shadows lengthen and the evening comes,
the busy world is hushed,
the fever of life is over,
and our work is done.

Then, Lord, in your mercy grant us a safe lodging,
a holy rest, and peace at the last;
through Christ our Lord. Amen.

May God’s love and help remain with us always
and may N. and all the faithful departed rest for ever in peace. Amen.

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